Thoughts Of A Bride Who Never Thought She'd Be One

I have been working with the amazing Quill & Fox for our wedding invitations and this image is a working piece of our invitation's main header. Reserving our reception venue and talking to our ministers was one thing, but actually seeing the invitations we are about to mail out to our guests within the next month or so is another story. Seeing the date of our wedding on paper seems to make it even more real than it already is, and I can't help but be amazed at how life moves in such unexpected ways.

You see, I never thought I would end up getting married. Sure, as a young girl, I had fantasized about walking down the aisle to the sounds of a string quartet, wearing a white dress, clutching a bouquet of pink roses... but I never really aimed for such a scenario in my own life; they were just silly visions that kept my mind playful and creative.

As I neared adulthood, I shied away from the idea altogether and thought how absurd the entire institution of marriage was, how it was all such a waste of time, energy, and money, and how idiotic it was to overreact (and overspend) over a piece of paper. But these days, as I plan for my own big day and spend more time with my now ex-boyfriend turned fiance, I can't help but be (pleasantly) surprised at how I've been proven wrong once again.

I once thought I knew exactly what this image meant. I mean, it's obvious what it's trying to say, but I see it differently now. I still believe in it, but in a completely different way.

I was telling my fiance how happy I was that I was finally settling down with that one person I could picture myself spending the rest of my life with, under one roof, perhaps with a couple of kids and even more dogs, bills to pay and taxes to do together. No more dating, no more checking off the "Single" box in documents, no more empty left ring finger. No more games. Game over. And I don't mind that at all.

Three years ago, I was a completely different person. I would've retched a little just thinking about these things, this sort of commitment, this sort of permanence. But now, I understand and embrace what this all means.

Some people would probably argue that you can still do all these things and experience the same kind of happiness even without that piece of paper. You can simply live together and probably fare better than most married couples these days. But to me, marriage just makes it all the more meaningful.

You might find this rather silly but I found the words that would help express my belief in marriage while I was watching Downton Abbey (best show ever). My favorite characters in the series, Anna and Bates, fell in love within rather difficult circumstances, which inspired Anna to marry him and not wait any longer. She says,

Mr. Bates, if we have to face this, then we will face it as husband and wife. I will not be moved to the sidelines to watch how you fare from a distance with no right even to be kept informed! I will be your next of kin. You will not deny me that.

I love that term, next of kin. I think it eloquently describes in just three tiny words my faith in the institution of marriage. I know that this term is a simple legal term that helps prevent certain legal inconveniences, and you can call me a romantic all you want, but I think it overflows with such deep meaning.

To officially welcome a person who was once, literally, a complete stranger, into your life as kin, as family, is a beautiful and quite incomparable gift. And I'm the happiest girl in the world that I get to open this gift in a few months, and call it my own, not just for that special day, but for the rest of my life.